Burn Out

How do you know if you are in the right career? How do you know if you've made the right choice in your profession?

I'm burnt out and it's only the beginning of November. This is better than last year, my burn out hit in October.

I have it pretty good at my job, so why am I already burnt out? I am just sitting here dreading tomorrow, counting down days to the weekend, comforting myself with thoughts of two days off for Thanksgiving three weeks from now. What is wrong with me?

The last two years I've had to deal with students with serious emotional problems. I never know what I'm going to get from them. I have a girl in my class who seriously hates me. Everything I say, she purposefully does the opposite and then looks at me waiting for my reaction. I also have a boy in my class who cries ALL THE TIME. Daily, the kid cries daily. Every time he has to do work he yells "Noooooo!" The kid actually boos people, kids and teachers. Who does that?

The rest of the teachers have agreed I have the homeroom from hell.
Last year I had all the Special Ed students (obviously), but also all the ELL students, "At Risk" students and behavior problems. When am I going to catch a fucking break? There's no way I can do this for another 27.5 years.

I wonder if I need a change in age, middle school students are hard. Maybe high school would be better? Or even beginning elementary? At least the daily crying would be more acceptable coming from a 5 year-old compared to a 12 year-old,

I also think I have generalized aniexty disorder. I know, so American, diagnosing myself with a mental disorder in order to solve my problems. But I dread things, all the time, I dread going into work every day, even though I always get through it. I dread going out. I dread staying in. I dread simple things like making a phone call. I always have something to dread and there is never a reason to dread them.

The weird thing is, I don't dread things that are actually stressful. I don't dread interviews and I didn't dread defending my masters thesis, but I did dread finding parking. It makes 0 sense.

The worst part is my dread affects people around me. I dreaded wedding dress shopping and wasn't able to make it a fun experience with my family, because I was so stressed out. I bring my dread for work home, which then affects the Med Student because he's already stressed about whatever test he's taking that week.

My dread affects my physically too. I get cancur sores all the time. I sweat so much every night when I sleep that I soak the blankets. I can feel my chest tighten and I clench my jaw constantly. I need help. I need to just pull the trigger and see someone.